A SOLI Original Document.
You won't find it anywhere else.

Chickens of the World, Unite!

                               Chicken Rights for All.
(c)Copyright 1988, Robert J. Hustwit
It was disturbing news: Chicken had become the most eaten meat in the country--passing beef for the first time. All those poor chickens dying. I was in a quandary. Even though the chickens didn't know they had them, their rights were being violated at an astonishing rate. I had already registered my intention to at least frown on anyone I caught wearing a chicken coat. Of course, I had the obligatory abhorrence to using chickens in laboratory experiments. But to grow them, kill them and then eat them, well, that was just too barbaric for words. I mean, if you buy a chicken coat, at least you have something you can use for years without ever killing another chicken. If you use a chicken in laboratory research, there is at least the chance of helping people like you and me survive in the future, and maybe then we could stop using chickens in these experiments. Unless he or she is really perverted (you know who you are) no one would feel pleasure at the suffering and pain of a chicken. And yet these same caring people lust over the taste of a properly cooked breast of the bird. They gladly breed chicken for flavor and size. They even use (dare I say it?) Genetic Engineering. Chickens are killed wantonly, with no regard for chicken traditions or culture. They are not even offered the Last Rites (not to be confused with their Chicken Rights). Over 500 million chickens a year are slaughtered. At first I thought it was an attempt at chicken genocide by the Chicken Cartel, but no, there are more chickens now than ever before. You'd think they would be an endangered species by now. I confess I don't know why they are being bred in such numbers, killed in such numbers, but I intend to find out. In the meantime, I want to do something about this travesty of justice. I am issuing a call for Animal Rights activists everywhere to unite. Forget about fur! All of the fur coats in the world laid end to end couldn't cover one tenth of the eggs of the yet-to-be-born chickens (never mind the born-againers). Forget about animals in laboratories: more chickens are killed and eaten in one day than all the laboratory animals that ever existed. Chickens are being eaten, eaten, do you hear me? If you really want to do something about Animal Rights, start with the chicken. Killing a chicken just to eat it, especially when there is so much corn and wheat and soya that we could be eating, is too cruel for words. It violates the basic rights of every chicken. Remember, Today the Chicken...Tomorrow the World. ----------------------------- I have to go now. We're eating out tonight, the restaurant's owned by a military man. I hope to get my point across to him. I've never been to this restaurant before, Major something, or is it Colonel somebody? I can't remember, but if anything exciting happens, I'll let you know. ----------------------------- Copyright 1989 Robert J. Hustwit Published by System Of Life Institute 41 La Gaviota, Pismo Beach, CA 93449 (805) 481-9777