A SOLI Original Document.
You won't find it anywhere else.


(c) Copyright 1975 Robert J. Hustwit
I am naked and new...yet I know much. I know of Kepler, Copernicus, Galileo, Newton, Maxwell, Planck, Einstein and thousands of others. I know of the Sumerians, the Egyptians, the Greeks and Romans. I know Shakespeare, Browning, Shelley and Keats. I understand the crimes of Hitler, the calculus of Newton, the constant of Planck and the relativity of Einstein. I feel the joy of knowledge, the serenity of wisdom, the courage of certainty and...the chill of fear. I am naked and new...yet I know much. The journal of Dr. Jeremiah Stockton; April 15th. I feel I must start keeping an in depth narrative-type record of what's happening in my lab to supplement my technical record. Things are moving quickly and everything is important. I have been working on my own project here at the Harding Institute for five years. The project has been my best-kept secret. My regular research goes on unabated, while every spare moment is devoted to the special project. Other than Polly, no one knows of my work. And Polly is a chimpanzee. My regular projects are in the field of learning patterns. My special project is in the field of learning patterns. Good grief! I'm being coy about my work even in writing my ideas to myself! I hope that this journal falls into the proper hands if I can't put it there myself. If it does, it will be obvious that I am a scientist, not a writer. Let me clarify my work in learning patterns: in my regular projects, I measure and record learning patterns; in my special project, I induce them. Polly, my experimental chimpanzee, and I have been working together five years this month. For the first four years, eleven months and twelve days, I measured her learning patterns, Three weeks ago, I began my efforts to induce a learning pattern--instant education I called it--into Polly's mind. Of course, I had the benefit of five years' worth of data on Polly, and that made the task easier, but still, it was very delicate. Basically, I used a computer to run a kind of reverse electro-encephalograph. Instead of picking up brain waves, it induced them. Because of the computer's speed, it could change wave patterns fast enough to simulate actual neuronic synapses in the human brain. I designed and built the machine myself, and, rather than put the details of it here, in what I wish to be a simple narrative, I have included a schematic diagram of my machine and a complete explanation in a separate work, the manuscript I titled, "Electro-encephalographic Induction", or simply, E.I. My machine was able to transmit knowledge when it was first finished. That in itself was a worthy achievement, but I had more in mind. You see, it took an inordinate amount of time to transmit the simplest bit of information; at least as long as to read that information from an instruction sheet. And it was difficult to assess my experimental results, working only with rats and rabbits, since we know so little of how they perceive things. Still, I made headway. I was able to induce the knowledge of how to successfully navigate a complicated maze to get a piece of cheese or lettuce, before I was through. I failed, or at least I could get no measurable results, when I tried to induce abstract information into these subjects (see E.I., pages 24-36). And there was still the time factor in transmitting the knowledge. It took me two-and-a-half years of constant trial-and- error testing before I found the secret of almost instantaneous transmission of data (see page 57 and ff, E.I.), and that's when I began to think about experimenting with Polly. Polly is not really an experimental animal to me--she is a real friend. I've always been a loner, never much with the women, oh, I look and think a lot but that's all. I don't have any family, I really don't have anything but my work and Polly. If you've never felt love for animal, I can't describe to you what I feel for Polly; if you have, it isn't necessary. At first, I was reluctant to experiment on "my friend". But as I thought about it more, I convinced myself that I would try-- very slowly--a few inductions. My first experiments were successful beyond anything I had imagined. I had made up a very difficult sequence of actions which would yield a piece of candy--Polly's favorite prize. I fitted the electrodes to her body (per diagram 'C', of E.I.) and fed the information (on the proper sequence and what the reward would be) to her. It took exactly one nanosecond to induce about two minutes worth of information. When she did not respond to the test immediately, I thought I had failed. Within fifteen minutes, however, she executed the proper series of actions, and got her candy. That was the first inkling I had of any time lag between the time of inductance and the time of response. I thought at the time that perhaps it was the fact that Polly was a higher order of intelligence than the rats, and that the knowledge needed more time to become integrated with everything else. Later, I postulated that it was similar to a photographic negative developing. To this day, I don't know which is true--if either. I did see, however that the more abstract the data, the longer the time lapse for her to respond. Elated by my success, I resolved to go ahead with my idea to induce into Polly the knowledge which I had been carefully programming and storing in the giant Harding Foundation computer for the last five years. There was more information at my disposal in that computer than any one person could assimilate in a lifetime--and I was going to try to induce it into my Polly in a matter of a few minutes (3.6792, to be exact). I suppose that I should mention here, that my experiments were somewhat rushed, and just a little haphazard. I had no funds for this project, and I had to make do with what I had. If I could get results, solid results, I could get my own backing, money behind me. Then I could form my own company and not have to put up with Harding any more. But I knew that in order to get big money, I had to produce something really dramatic--that would be Polly. I induced the data into her four days ago (see pages 132 and ff., E.I.). At one point Polly passed out, or at least that's what I thought happened, for 3.25975 seconds. Looking at the records after the experiment was over, I saw that all her vital signs had ceased for those three-plus seconds. I was really frightened. When she had (I thought) passed out, I just calmly timed it, never suspecting that anything was wrong. Of course, now, I am studying those seconds frantically--but with no results as yet. I am also studying the other phenomenon I can't account for--Polly doesn't know me. I'm sure of it now, although I didn't suspect at first. Polly slept most of that first day, and on the second began to respond to the induced data. I suspected nothing, thinking that her lack of affection was due to all of her energy being channelled, integrating the new data. On the third day I discovered I was wrong, in the most shocking way possible--Polly wrote me a note! "Who are you?" It said, in a very readable script. When I read it, I had to sit down. My mouth must have been wide open, because I got another note; "Close your mouth and tell me who you are, please." My mind was still acting as if a tornado had just gone through, but I stammered out, "I-I'm Dr. Stockton, Polly, Jerry, remember?" "No." Just the one word, printed this time. Then, "Who's Polly?" "Why, you are. That's your name. You don't remember at all?" Polly shook her head slowly; no, she didn't remember. I worked with her the rest of yesterday; and by the end of today, I became convinced that the Polly I had known had ceased to exist. I can't tell you the pain. I feel as if I killed--no,no--lost--my best and only friend, and yet Polly is in the lab right now--only it isn't Polly--but in a way, it is. This new Polly began to show emotion yesterday, and today she was very affectionate. April 16 Today Polly wrote me a note telling me she loved me! Her intelligence is increasing at a geometric rate as she integrates or develops more and more data, I can hardly keep up my measurements, I guess from a narrative point of view, that's where we are now. It's late and I'm going to be bed, wondering with almost painful curiosity hat tomorrow will bring. April 17 This morning, I found Polly sitting in a corner of her cage. She did not look up as I entered, nor did she give any other sign acknowledging my presence. After I had checked all the animals and set the machines to record today's experiments, I went over, opened Polly's cage, and sat beside it as I have been doing the last few days. I said "Hello" to her and she finally noticed me. Sadly, she handed me a note. I have copied it below. "Dearest Jeremiah; There is much that I do not understand about myself. Every day, as my knowledge of the outside world seems to grow, my confusion about myself grows also. Why am I kept in a cage, like a wild animal? Who am I? You say that you knew me, but I do not remember you. Why? I know what I feel for you is love, but somehow I am trapped inside the body of this animal, and I know that our love can never be consummated. But how did this thing happen? How did I get here--here in this ugly body? Please, Jeremiah, you must explain, I must know. As I understand more, I fear more. I am unhappy. Please, Jeremiah, help me. Polly" I felt like the father who deserted his son at birth, only to find him again, years later, in need. The import of what I have done is just beginning to filter into my consciousness. I am very frightened. I have created a thinking being--I am responsible for her. She has the mind of a human, the body of an ape--what am I to do? April 18 No time for a long entry today. Polly was deeply depressed--almost psychotic--all day; I stayed with her and tried to help, but didn't succeed. She cried when I left. April 19 Today I explained the experiment to Polly, how and why I had conducted it, hoping it would bring her out of her depression--it didn't work. If anything it drove her deeper. She communicated very little all day, I had to spend most of the afternoon catching up on yesterday's regular work, so I didn't have much time to talk anyway. April 20 Could not communicate with Polly at all today, she seems to be in a trance. Her vital signs are o.k., in fact, they seem to be getting stronger than normal (see chart 14, E.I.) I wish I knew more about psychology, although I'm not sure it would help. I don't know what to do. She cried again when I left the lab. April 21 Today was the worst day I have had yet. Polly seems to have had a nervous breakdown. She kept telling me (in notes) that she wanted to marry me--that she loved me. That hurt somehow, more than her reproaches for having "created" her. She cried off and on most of the day. April 22 Polly hung herself last night after I left. The loss is too much for me. I am leaving here. **** May 16 I am starting my journal again, for the last time. After two weeks, I returned to the Foundation. Mr. Harding actually sympathized with my feelings. He did not know about what had happened to Polly, of course, only that she had died, but he did convince me that I should keep working, although he thinks I'm working on something else. For the last ten days, I have been setting up my electro- encephalographic inducer for one last experiment--on me. I'm not sure in my own mind why I'm doing it; I know that in many ways I am still a child, and it may be an immature emotional reaction to the tragedy. It could be scientific zeal, I just don't know. But I do know that I will die. Most likely, my motive is a combination guilt-death-wish and curiosity. Anyway, I have shaved off all my body hair, and have left a complete portfolio for myself (?) when I awake. I have laced all the electrodes in position, and as soon as I finish writing this, I am going to push the button and begin my final experiment. What I have determined in thinking about the effects of my Inducer, however, is most important. My technical manuscript is no longer attached to this journal, I have put it in a safe-deposit box and have the key at my apartment. On a hypothetical basis, I believe that I have found how life works. I know with certainty what death is. And my hypothesis explains Polly's 3.2-second 'death' while under induction, and also, her inability to remember anything about her old self afterwards. From birth, we are assaulted by almost the full spectrum of electromagnetic waves, triggering responses in one or more of our five senses. We may even have another sense which responds to those frequencies the others cannot. In any event, it is obvious that our brains receive more inputs than they can ever transmit. Now, think of the brain as being analogous to an electronic capacitor, storing up energy to some pre-determined level, and then suddenly discharging that energy. The discharge is what we call a natural death. And if it is followed quickly enough by enough inputs, life can come again. But it is a new life, a new entity. That is what I hope to prove--or maybe I just want to die. I will never know which. I am going to set down my pen now, and press the button. Good-by. **** I am naked and new...yet I know much. I know of Kepler, Copernicus, Galileo, Newton, Maxwell, Planck, Einstein and thousands of others. I know of the Sumerians, the Egyptians, the Greeks and Romans. I know of Shakespeare, Browning, Shelley and Keats. I understand the crimes of Hitler, the calculus of Newton, the constant of Planck and the relativity of Einstein, I feel the joy of knowledge, the serenity of wisdom, the courage of certainty and...the chill of fear. I am naked and new...yet I know much. THE END